Many people tell us that the hardest part of therapy was booking the first session. Not knowing what will happen makes it easy to put off: Will I have to talk about my childhood straight away? What if I don't know what to say? What if I cry?

This guide walks you through a first session at Peninsula, step by step, so you know what to expect before you walk in (or log on).

Before the session

Booking

Most people get in touch with our reception team on WhatsApp or through our contact form. You don't need to explain everything at this point. A few lines about what you'd like help with, and any preferences (language, in person or online, a particular approach), are enough for us to match you with a therapist whose experience fits.

If you'd like to get a feel for your therapist first, we can arrange a free 15-minute phone call before your first session.

What to prepare

Nothing, really. You don't need a clear "problem" or the right words. Some people find it helpful to jot down a few notes beforehand, such as what made them reach out now, or questions they want to ask. That's optional.

If your session is online, find a private space where you won't be overheard, use headphones if you can, and check your connection a few minutes before.

During the session

A first session usually lasts around 50 minutes. Every therapist has their own style, but most first sessions cover the same ground.

1. Introductions and confidentiality

Your therapist will introduce themselves and explain how sessions work. They will also explain confidentiality: what you say stays between you and your therapist, with a few legal exceptions, such as a serious risk of harm to yourself or others. Ask about anything that isn't clear.

2. What brings you here

You'll be asked what made you decide to come, and what's been happening recently. You can start wherever feels easiest. If you're not sure, "I don't really know where to start" is a perfectly good opening.

3. A bit of background

Your therapist may ask about your life more broadly: work, relationships, family, health, sleep, and what's helped or not helped in the past. This helps them understand the context. You decide how much to share. It's fine to say "I'm not ready to talk about that yet."

4. What you'd like to change

Together you'll start thinking about goals. These don't have to be precise. "I want to feel less anxious at work" or "I want to understand why my relationships keep ending the same way" are good starting points. Goals often become clearer over the first few sessions.

5. How you'll work together

Your therapist will explain how they work, whether that's CBT, a systemic approach or something else, and suggest how often to meet. This is a good moment to ask questions.

What you don't have to do

Tell your whole story - There's no need to cover everything in one session. Trust builds over time, and so does the picture.
Have the answers - Working things out is your therapist's job too.
Feel a certain way - Some people cry, some laugh, some feel nothing much. All of it is normal.
Commit to anything - You can take time after the session to decide whether you want to continue.

How you might feel afterwards

People often feel relieved after a first session. Others feel tired, unsettled or emotional, because talking about difficult things stirs them up. Both are normal. It can help to give yourself a little quiet time afterwards rather than rushing straight into a meeting.

Is this the right therapist for you?

Research consistently finds that the relationship between you and your therapist is one of the strongest predictors of how well therapy works. You can read more about this on our Individual Therapy page.

After the first session, ask yourself: Did I feel listened to? Did I feel respected? Could I imagine being honest with this person? It's normal to feel a little awkward at first, so we usually suggest giving it two or three sessions. If it still doesn't feel right, tell us. We would rather help you find a better fit than have you stop therapy altogether.

Questions you can ask your therapist

How do you usually work with what I'm going through?
How often should we meet, and for how long?
How will we know if therapy is helping?
What happens if I need to cancel or reschedule?
Can I use my insurance? (See our insurance guide.)

Frequently asked questions

How long is a first therapy session?

An individual session lasts 50 minutes and a couples session 60 minutes. The first session is the same length as the ones that follow.

Do I have to talk about my childhood?

Only if it's relevant and you want to. Some approaches look closely at early experiences; others focus on what's happening now. Your therapist will follow your lead.

Will I get a diagnosis in the first session?

Usually not. The first session is about understanding what's going on. If a diagnosis would help, your therapist will talk it through with you. Formal assessments, such as our Adult ADHD Assessment, are a separate process.

Is an online first session as good as one in person?

For most people, yes. Online sessions follow the same structure. Choose whichever makes it easier for you to attend and speak freely.

What if I cry?

That's fine, and very common. Your therapist is used to it, and there are always tissues within reach.

What if I don't like my therapist?

Let our reception team know. We can talk it through with you and, if needed, match you with someone else.

What Actually Happens in Your First Therapy Session